RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE

by Ramona Jones
Have you witnessed or encountered domestic abuse? Are you able to recognize it when you see it? With twenty-five students in attendance, Kathy L. Ferguson, Program Coordinator at The Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault, conducted a seminar, turned forum on October 7th in the Largo Student Center, to raise awareness about what domestic abuse is and what it looks like. Surprisingly, out of the twenty-five students that attended only five were females. Although men can be victims in some cases, women are commonly the victim. Ms. Ferguson presented the different types of domestic abuse, which are: verbal, sexual, physical and emotional
Also, in attendance were Manager of the Diverse Male Student Initiative, Brain Hamlin and Director of Outreach for the Family Crisis Center for Prince George's County, Rex Little. Throughout the seminar the very passionate Mr. Little continuously interjected posing questions that were "food for thought." Mr. Little also gave some insight of how males and females addressed and acknowledged each other in the 60s and 70s. He depicted a time when men and women uplifted one another by calling each other "princess and prince." On the contrary, many now tend to use the word "b_t_h" as a term of endearment.
During the presentation Ms. Ferguson asked questions of the student audience about derogatory terms used against and amongst women like: "b_t_h", "h_e", and "t_ick". Ms. Ferguson pointed out that these words are and originally used to degrade women, whereas there are few words to degrade men. Words that are used to degrade men are words to belittle a man's manhood that compare him to a woman, such as "p_s_y" or "b_t_h a_s".
She then posed the question, “What does a women need to do to be called a derogatory name?” A male student responded that in order for him to verbally disrespect a female, she would have to do something that he does not like. Mr. Hamlin then asserted that men do not look at their own girlfriends or mothers as "b_t_hes and h_es ", however other women that are not close to them may be considered “b_t_hes and h_es.” Mr. Hamlin also asked the attendees to define the word respect. A male student defined respect using the "Golden Rule”, “ Respect is treating people the way you want to be treated."
The students who attended the seminar admitted that they wanted to be more informed about domestic abuse; what it looks like and what to do if he or she finds him or herself in an abusive relationship. Obmna Mwosu, a PGCC student, said "This seminar was informative and it also brought awareness of how common domestic violence is."
In conclusion, although it may seem common to be in a relationship that may be a bit physical or a bit verbal, if it hurts it is not common nor should it be accepted. Do not ignore domestic abuse because it "seems" to be common or okay because it is not.